2026 Forever Home

 

Our first full year of full-time living near the sea!

Our May 2025 post described and celebrated the long process of making our weekend home in Fairhaven our year-round home. The renovation process was quite prolonged, and we were happy to be feeling at home around this time last year.

But at that time the sale of our Bridgewater home was hanging over us like the Sword of Damocles. The entire summer was a painful series of extensions and deals falling through at the very last minute. Once that big check came through, we learned to let go of the old place and fully to enjoy our life between the castles and the sea. 

At this point, we have rented many houses, bought two houses, renovated a house, and sold a house. We are pretty certain we will never do any of these things again, and we are happy about that!

The main way we celebrated settling in to Whaling House full time was to host two modest open house events in September and October. It was very nice that many friends came to see the place and celebrate with us.

Healthy Living

Last year's post mentioned some health scares and subsequent improvement. This year, we have continued habits that we established then and have managed to continue. The only new problems were involving James' eyes -- we learned all about styes and Fuchs Dystrophy. We now each have a whole cadre of health providers we consult regularly. The result has been slow and steady improvements as we eat better and move more. 

Speaking of health, James' dad's health was a major concern all year. He had some significant progress with physical therapy and was settling in fairly well in his home with Bob & Teresa. James spent a week with him in the summer and another week in the spring, to provide some support. In the winter, he finally got the injured hip replaced -- good in the long run but requiring another difficult period of recovery. As of this writing, he is headed back to Stevensville on this very day. 

Things We Did

We began our 39th year with a ride of the entire family -- Pam, James, Harvey & Luke -- on the historic Schooner Ernestina. 

We then enjoyed a visit from the junior Kreft Clan -- Joe, Liz, and Miles visited Whaling House on their way to a stay on Cape Cod. Most memorable is how much Miles absolutely loved the Whaling Museum. He already knew quite a lot about whales and enjoyed learning even more!

During the summer, our friends Barbara and Tony visited. We were -- as Pam just said -- like regular people, with friends visiting us for the Fourth of July at our beach house. We had low-key festivities, but did walk with them and our Crumpet to Fort Phoenix to watch fireworks in a light rain. We realized afterwards how fortunate we are -- first dog we have had who tolerated the fireworks pretty well. July 5 was also was the 50th anniversary of Cape Verde independence -- Tony & James went to the parade in New Bedford. This followed a number of events in which Cape Verde leaders had come to our area just ahead of the big day.  

Gallery Bar! A new gay bar opened in New Bedford and became a new family favorite. It is both a friendly bar and an art gallery. We attended an opening that included work by our friend Jen -- who is very close to the owners of the new place. Before long, Harvey was part of a show and we have all visited a few times, with Harvey & Luke going on their own fairly often for drag shows and drawing classes.

Beer Train. Ale Rail. Something like that! At the end of July we enjoyed a special evening on Cape Cod Railroad -- on which we had taken a dinner train long ago. This was a sort of progressive dinner, with many regional breweries providing beer samples, each paired with enough food that it added up to a nice feast. Good food, beer, and company as we sat with a couple with whom we had several connections.  

In August we joined the Water-Rue for a few days in Niantic -- Pam going down first and then James joining a bit later. Bittersweet memory as we later learned that they are selling the family home there.

Our next big adventure was a taping of the NPR show Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! at Tanglewood. We had briefly explored the area during our prior visit to Kripolu, but this was our first visit to Tanglewood itself, after nearly three decades of hearing about it. We were motivated in part because Paul Giamatti was the special guest. He did not disappoint. We did have Merlot from one of the snack bars and then were really amused by Giamatti's first remark: he knows nothing about wine. He said he understands that there are reds and whites. It was perfect, and now we know what all the fuss is about with the Tanglewood venue. We will be back! 

In October, we went with our friend Brendan to see an author talk by Bill McKibben at the Whaling Museum. He was there to talk about his 20th book -- and his first optimistic one. Here Comes the Sun is now the main textbook for the final few semesters of James' signature environmental geography class. It was great to meet him in person and to learn that there is some hope for our planet after all!

In November, Pam joined Lisa's Social Justice Choir for one of its weekend programs -- they practiced all day together and then James was in the audience for their performance the next day. We had enjoyed some shows previously (and also later), but this was the first time either of us participated.

For an unprecedented third time in a single year, we welcomed another visitor later in November. Diane came to wine and dine with us later in November. It was a great sister and sister-in-law time!

Another first for November was hosting Thanksgiving at Whaling House. It was a bit of a schlepp for our friends, but the weather was quite fair, so we enjoyed both dining in our expanded dining room and socializing in the back yard by our new Burn Bowl. 

As in previous years, we enjoyed quite a few Christmas activities in December. The highlight was a one-man play called An Evening with C.S. Lewis, in which an actor recreated a meeting  in which Lewis had hosted American graduate students in his home. The actor was so very good that we really had the sensation of having met the great writer. This started us on a C.S. Lewis tip, as we are now re-reading the Narnia series. It spread over to James' dad, who read several of Lewis' nonfiction works for the first time. This was good fodder for several of the looong weekly phone calls with Dad. 

We then spent Christmas with family in Maryland for the first time in some while, driving down on the low-traffic Christmas Day itself and returning on the 30th. 

We started the new year with the grand re-opening of the Zeiterion Theater in New Bedford. It was a fabulous way to see the long-anticipated renovations with a fabulous show that included many genres of music and even some bawdy humor. 

In February, we had a UMBC alumni dinner at Fathom's in New Bedford. This was the fourth time that someone from the alumni office has come to visit us, just because we are regular supporters of our alma mater. We enjoyed sharing some of our stories of UMBC with her. 

There had been a blizzard before that visit -- serious enough to shut everything down for half a week, but at 17 inches, just a return of normal New England winter weather. But after her visit, we had a truly memorable storm throughout the region, with Fairhaven recording the peak snowfall of 37 inches. Winds were strong, drifts were deep, and plows were overwhelmed. We did not even SEE a plow for the first two days and were not able to go anywhere for most of a week. Some. of that snow lingered for weeks after. We were fortunate in both storms, however, that all of the precipitation happened when temperatures were well below freezing, so there was not much in the way of ice or power outages. 

NOLA

In the fall, Harvey took a vacation in New Orleans with friends Clara and Kady. He returned with thoughtful gifts and an interesting report: during the trip, they often discussed how strange it was that James had not been to New Orleans at all, despite teaching about it for years. Pam had only been there once -- for a conference long ago -- and had always hoped to return. The sale of our Bridgewater home recently completed, we decided finally to spend the money and take a proper vacation. 

For spring break in March 2026, we had our first such trip -- defined as travel that involved neither work nor family -- staying the entire week just outside the French Quarter. We had a wonderful balance of food, music, history, swamps, and relaxation. We even took a drive to Avery Island to realize James' long-time goal of visiting Tabasco. Our expectations were high -- and they were exceeded. Our return was during a bit of a kerfuffle around TSA funding, so we bumped ourselves to first class for the flight home. We were VERY fortunate to have smooth travels all around. 

Street Car Named Desire

After returning from NOLA, we had two shorter adventures. We saw a performance of The Outsiders in Providence and we took a long day trip to NYC for Amazonia Açu. We had read The Outsiders to prepare ourselves for the show -- Pam had already known the story well. The Amazon exhibit was remarkable, with contributions in several media from every country of the Amazon region. 

Family Ties

Our son Harvey continues to be that tree-adjacent apple, thriving in library school and fair-trade coffee. He has also returned to part-time work with Project EarthView. As of this writing, he has begun his last class in library school, to be followed immediately by an internship at the Millicent Library -- a short walk from our house. Meanwhile, he continues to enjoy spending time with Luke, and sometimes helping him in the family business of provisioning fishing boats.

This year we welcomed two more grand neices, born a day apart from each other. At Christmas time, we saw Julie and Maisie when they were still swaddled lumps of barely a month in age and then again for a longer visit with each of them at six months. They are both delightful, and big siblings Loughaire and Miles are wondeful big siblings. 

And sadly, we learned of the passing of Pam's Auntie Terese -- a lovely and spunky spirit who was always so kind to both of us. 

CELEBRATION! We ended our 39th year by celebrating with friends. We made jambalaya for our friend Brian and Judy and Brendan. It was both a lot of fun and delicious. We broke out the family reserve Tabasco!

2025 - The Year We left Bridgewater

  

Pam and James on the Michael S. Van Leesten Memorial Bridge 
Providence Rhode Island -- May 9, 2025

As shown on last year's post, we started our 38th year of wedded bliss at Kripolu, a lovely retreat in the Berkshires. We remember that fondly and we shall return! Pam, in fact, did go back briefly with a friend during the year.

Looking over the calendar, we find that the next significant event was the building of TWO sheds at Whaling House in Fairhaven. This was the first tangible step in what became a year-long project of transition that is hinted at by the title of this post. Putting the sheds up allowed us to empty the garage of our weekend house -- one shed for tools and the like; the other for firewood. This gives our 0.31 acres the feel of a tiny compound! 

Our first adventure of the year was a Mammoth Walk -- our first (and maybe last) time as participants in a series of one-day hiking challenges. Having succeeded in two 10k walks across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, we thought that a 20-mile walk in the woods would be in reach. We were mistaken, but we are glad we tried and that there was a nice bail-out vehicle at Mile 11 (that's 17K).

Our year overlapped almost entirely with Pam's Dragon Year (to do with her reaching her fifth Year of the Dragon in Chinese Zodiac terms). This was mostly a literary journey for her, but we read some dragon books together and did other dragon things. Most notable was our visit to the Roger Williams Zoo in Rhode Island for a special dragon exhibit -- dragons and other mythical creatures were represented by dozens of sculptures and figures throughout the zoo. 

The transition in our housing began officially on June 10, when we vacated our weekend home (Whaling House) in Fairhaven, with interior demolition beginning that morning. We put everything we were keeping at the Fairhaven house into the bedrooms and the aforementioned sheds. The rest was stripped back to the studs and rafters by Quinlan & Company. 

Later in June, we attended the wedding of our friends Brendan and Ruth in a beautiful ceremony in Falmouth, on the lovely grounds of one of Cape Cod's first mansions. While there, we had a scrumptious dinner at Romeo's, a restaurant that had recently been opened by the son of James' rowing friend Barbara Pontolilo.

We enjoyed a wonderful reading and musical performance by the Cape Verdean musician and writer Candida Rose. James had the privilege of catching up with her again just a couple of days before writing this post! 

June 30, 2024 was Pam's official retirement date.

One lunch date is pertinent to the theme of this year. Amy Lecuyer visited our Bridgewater home for a lunch and long conversation on the back deck. (We cherish the many lingering meals we enjoyed on that deck.) Amy is a credit-union manager James had met almost a decade before, when she noticed our address on a transaction and went on to tell us about the ghosts that haunted the kids in her family when she was growing up there. Back at that time, our son Harvey shared many stories with her -- their memories of the ghosts lined up remarkably, though Pam and I never saw or heard a thing. During that lunch, Amy told us many stories of the house and her own family's experience. When we later put the house on the market, she was able to bring a childhood friend to see their old haunts. It had apparently been an important place of refuge for that friend when they were growing up.

We listen to a lot of audio books -- one of them, entitled All's Well by Mona Awad -- was an engaging novel about a production of Shakespeare's All's Well That Ends Well. Neither of us had seen or read that play, and indeed Pam had not heard of it. So she set about looking for performances and found that it was playing in Ithaca, home of our dear friend (and James' former professor) Hillary Lambert. Not only did we have a wonderful stay with her, but we also got a chance to visit one of Harriet Tubman's historic sites and to revisit the "gorges" city of Ithaca. Moreover, the local production of the play was both marvelous and eventful, as a child was lost (and thankfully found) in a chasm off stage left during the performance. 

In August we visited family in Maryland and killed invasive lantern flies while dining with our friends Marga and Ed on a restaurant deck in a leafy corner of Catonsville. Most of the flies were on James' head and shoulders, and everyone had a turn swatting them. 

Not nearly as large in scale as the Chicago Architecture Boat Tour but just as enjoyable is the Providence version. It was a great opportunity to learn local history in general and architectural history in particular during a daytime excursion on the waters that host the nighttime Waterfire events we have enjoyed so many times over the years. 

After swearing she would never work for the university again, Pam caved (because her friend Cynthia asked nicely) and worked on a part-time basis in the fall semester until a new librarian was hired in her stead. 

Apple falling not far from the tree updates: our son Harvey took a part-time job with our friends at Equal Exchange, stocking coffee and tea in more than a dozen Market Basket stores in southeastern New England. Even better, he aced his first year as a graduate student in library school at the University of Rhode Island. He excelled in his classes and also became involved in campus governance. He also continued whaleboat rowing and working as a Wrangler in Project EarthView. 

He also started dating Luke, a wonderful young man who grew up on the water nearby. We have enjoyed having him in our home regularly this spring.

Speaking of EarthView: after 16 years and about 130,000 students served,  James stepped down from leadership of the giant globe program in area schools. It continues to be the most significant outreach program at Bridgwater State University and the most significant geography outreach program in North America. This is possible because we transitioned the program to Courtney Sutcliffe, an extraordinary alumna who first came to geography because of the program.

We successfully completed our third Bay Bridge 10k walk, which ends near Bob and Teresa's home on the bay. Sadly, Bob was not able to join us this time because of serious mobility problems that emerged earlier in the year.  We did enjoy a visit with them at their home.

The end of the year was challenging in a few ways. Just as we were starting to become frustrated by the very slow progress on Whaling House, we had significant health problems. The first was an ambulance ride for Pam as she was struck by diverticulitis. This was a proverbial wake-up call for both of us and began a switch from somewhat healthy eating so much healthier eating. We were both sick with respiratory illnesses right after that, and recovery was slow. The holidays were not so much fun, especially for Pam. But as of this writing, we are fitter and becoming even more so! 

We were grateful that we were both healthy enough for a fabulous Broadway outing. We took the train to Manhattan and stayed right on Times Square just a couple days after the ball had dropped -- we could still see the ball from our hotel window! Another audiobook we had recently read was Tom Lake by Ann Patchet -- another novel about community theater. In this case, the fictional company had put on Thornton Wilder's Our Town. When we found that the actual play was coming to Broadway with an amazing cast, we read Wilder's book and got ourselves tickets to the show. Jim Parsons, Katie Holmes and Richard Thomas (John-Boy Walton) did not disappoint. We also had dinner in the city with an old friend, Debbie Rodriguez whom we had not seen since 1988!

Another literary note: during the year we had finally read Innocence Under the Elms. We had heard about it for years but had not gotten to it. Amy (at the lunch mentioned above) talked about how our house was mentioned (not directly, but close). It is the memoir of a woman who had been a young girl in our very neighborhood a century before. It was a perfect thing to read during our final year in town. And it was timely to have finished it just before seeing Wilder's play. Author  Louise Dickinson Rich had apparently read Out Town, because her opening chapter matches the cadence and style of that play's opening lines. 

Westport Rivers is our favorite winery, located just a few miles from our seaside home in Fairhaven. Given the climate, it specializes in white wines. Given climate change, it is starting to work with some success in red wines. We had a double-date with our friends Kendra and David a the vineyard for a members-only barrel tasting of some of these new wines. Perfect for some nerdy oenophiles! 

As our Fairhaven renovations finally seemed to draw closer to a conclusion, we put our Bridgewater home on the market in early February and made preparations to begin moving. We took up full-time residence in Fairhaven on Valentine's weekend. The transition was long and a bit complicated as we consolidated the two households and our contractors worked around us on lingering details.

In March, James went to the Association of American Geographers meeting in Detroit, mainly because it gave him an opportunity to revisit a city that we have been to only for one day, but about which James teaches a colloquium each year. It was a very rewarding experience, with a full week spent in a hotel inside GM headquarters with colleague Rob Hellström. 

Courtesy of Buzzards Bay Coalition, we took a voyage to Cuttyhunk on a seal and seabird cruise. It was VERY cold but beautiful. James also set sail with New Bedford middle schoolers on the historic Schooner Ernestina/Morrissey -- a dream many years anticipated. He will be working with Buzzards Bay as that program continues and develops. (Year 39 spoiler: the whole family went on the ship a few weeks later.)

We finished our 38th year with a small bridge adventure. Having crossed the Chesapeake Bay Bridge three times and the Cuomo (Tappan Zee) over the Hudson once, we had our eye on a small pedestrian bridge in Providence. We decided to make that part of our anniversary celebration this year. We booked a room at the Graduate by Hilton, better known as the historic Biltmore, and walked a loop in the rain to cross that bridge. The raincoats shown above are about to be retired, as they were not up to that adventure!

This was our first (and it is to be hoped only) time selling a house and it has not been fun. As of this writing, we are still a couple days away from closing. Then we shall exhale! 

Losses

We had some very sad losses this year as well. One was that James' father took a serious fall while James was visiting him in January. The purpose of the visit had been to help get him ready for transition to Bob & Teresa's house. This changed suddenly in many ways as he broke his hip and never returned to his own apartment. After several months in various kinds of rehab, he is now in that home by the Bay with his other son and our wonderful sister-in-law Teresa.

Tom St. Thomas had been our friend during our entire time in Bridgwater. He was a friendly, goofy, modest guy who was also very handy. He and his wife Sue had painted most of the interior of our Bridgewater house, room by room, over the years. He and his friend Barry had done significant projects there most notably a small upgrade to the bath, a major upgrade to the kitchen, and a perfectly marvelous back deck. They had also done some major projects at Whaling House, including the "reading room" that currently serves as Harvey's ADU. He was helping us with a ceiling leak in the middle of the year when James noticed he was walking unevenly. It turned out he had some neurological problems that had just been identified, and his health failed quickly after that. Our church has never been fuller than it was the day of his memorial. Everyone there was a close friend. 

Even closer to home, we lost Judy, Grammy, the Judester. Pam's mother Judy Helbing had texted with Pam one day and became seriously ill the next night. Fortunately, Pam and Harvey were able to get there quickly. She died three days before her 84th birthday with all of her children and grandchildren at her side. We were all saddened very much. Similar to Tom, she saw the best in everyone, and many counted her a close friend. James took a full week off teaching and needed it. He watched old British murder mysteries in her honor.

May 9, 2024: A Very Big Year

 

The lake at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health
May 9, 2024

Our 37th year of marriage has been a momentous and eventful year, indeed! 

We began the year in Chicago (see our 2023 anniversary post), winding up some family time for James' birthday.

Our next adventure was to visit Maryland, where we spent Pam's birthday at a special exhibit of Jim Henson's work at the Maryland Cultural Museum in Baltimore. We then had dinner with family.

Friends from our Greater Boston PFLAG group were part of the GLBTQ flag raising in the nearby town of Mansfield, where James had been invited to be the keynote speaker. It was a great opportunity to let a broader community know about the support that PFLAG provides, and for us all to learn a bit more about the history of a group that has been very important to our family.

James spent much of July fulfilling a long-time desire to take an extended journey in the Amazon, sharing the adventure with Dr. Miguel Nenevé, the very first friend he had made in South America, back in 1996. This was the fifth visit to the Amazon for James and provided a great opportunity for learning and reflection. James drew heavily on this experience in a course about the region that he taught for BSU Senior College in the fall. As she often does, Pamela helped with the title: Forest and Fables.

After returning from Brazil, James went back to Chicago, this time to help Harvey move into our Fairhaven home. He spent the year figuring out his next chapter while spending a lot of time with Crumpet. Near the end of the year, he was accepted to library school at the University of Rhode Island. We are very proud, and now James has to be more careful with his use of the phrase "my favorite librarian" because he has two of them!

We have been supporters of the historic Zeiterion Theater in New Bedford for quite a few years. In August, we had the opportunity for a behind-the-scenes tour of the theater, which was also a preview of the very extensive remodeling that is still underway there. Even more exciting was our chance to see the last performance before the extended closer of the theater: a dazzling performance of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. We had heard of this play for years, but had no idea just how, well, amazing it would be!

Pam continued her work as a public scholar of information literacy by teaching a Senior College course on Banned Books, which was very well received. She was later part of an interdisciplinary panel on book banning at Bridgewater Public Library during Banned Books Week. Another notable achievement in this area was Pam's publication (paid!) on the blog of the Heterodox Academy.

A highlight of the autumn was a much-anticipated opportunity to hear Lech Walensa speak at our university. He was a hero in our young adult years, a labor leader who brought down the Soviet Union with non-violent protests and became the first elected president of Poland. Sadly, his speech fell a bit flat and included him excusing the pope for his role in the global scandal of sexual abuse by clergy. 

After years of not being directly involved in local environmental projects, James wore two hats this year -- one as a member of the Bridgewater Tree Committee and the other as part of a project to design and build a public trail on conservation land associated with the correctional facility in Bridgewater. 

For the second time, we traveled to Maryland on Veterans' Day weekend to complete the 10k walk across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, this time with both Bob and Teresa, whose home is conveniently located near the eastern end of the bridge. This was our second time completing this event (our first Bay Bridge walk having been before we were married, and closer to 5k). We were fortunate to have perfect weather as we completed the journey with 36,000 of our new closest friends.

For the first time in several years, we met our friend Tim Kelehan when he was in Boston for a conference. This is an occasional treat that we had not had since before the pandemic. Tim was one of Pam's closest friends in college but now lives on the opposite corner of the country, so this was delightful.

In December we created a special project for ourselves, we watched a different movie adaptation of A Christmas Carol every day as an advent countdown. Most of these were films (and of course we blogged about it), but we also attended a book discussion at the local Congregational church and the famous reading of the entire book sponsored by WBUR in Boston. We had heard about this event and although it is no longer held in the same hotel where Dickens first read it, the reading/performance was as marvelous as we had heard. 

We were fortunate to attend several other special performances during the winter. The whole family enjoyed John Waters Christmas special and we both went to Washington DC for a performance of Swept Away, a whaleship story that is, as we write this, going to Broadway. Both of these performances were genuine treats, and we very much enjoyed spending time on our own in DC. We finally made it to the Smithsonian Museum of African American History.

In January, James led his first travel course since the pandemic, Geography of Coffee in Cape Verde. Harvey eagerly joined the course, and learned enough Portuguese from Duolingo before we went that he actually was able to put it to use during the visit. Harvey earned his first graduate credits from his participation, which was characterized by very keen attention to questions of social justice. The entire family was exposed to COVID-19 just as the trip began, with Pam and Harvey both testing positive. This complicated things somewhat, but the trip was successful. During the trip, James decided to change the focus of his next (and final) sabbatical to further study of coffee in Cape Verde.

The entire family was able to continue the Cape Verde experience in the spring semester, when the Rector of the University of Cabo Verde visited our campus. We arranged for our family to join his entire delegation for lunch to talk about scholarship in general and librarianship in particular. It was wonderful to spend time with an academic leader who is an actual academic, something that has become rare in this country. These and other growing connections with the country will allow all of us to collaborate in various ways, especially as James' 2026. sabbatical approaches.

Soon after James and Harvey returned, the whole family experienced an extraordinary performance of Moby Dick with puppets. This globally traveling production would be difficult to describe and will not be forgotten!

Soon after that, we began a process that consumed much of our attention for the rest of our 37th year and that continues as we write this (belatedly) at the end of June. We began the process of Pam's retirement and our retrenchment to a single home. What began as a weekend getaway in Fairhaven will be our permanent home. The process began with finding a contractor/designer and wrangling the financing so that the equity in our Bridgewater house could be used to completely overhaul our Fairhaven house. At this point in mid-summer, the Fairhaven house is mostly an empty shell, with no walls, floors or ceilings in most of it. But the whole family worked with Quinlan Company to design something that will be our only home -- and a lovely one -- by the end of the calendar year.

Another entertainment highlight was the Boston production of the Cher Show. We have been mostly casual fans, although we were known as Hace Sol y Compartir (Sunny and Share) during our 1989 summer program in Mexico. This show was surprisingly emotional for us. James might have cried twice.

On April 8, we had a great family experience, though not exactly together. Almost a year ahead of time, we reserved a room in Lydon, New York for the total eclipse of the sun. Harvey opted not to join us, so he was to stay at home with Crumpet for a partial eclipse. Just a couple days out -- before dog care could be arranged -- he decided to go with his friend Kady to view the eclipse in northern Vermont. With the dog. This seemed a crazy plan but something we would have done at that age. In the end, a good time was had by all, though Harvey had to contend with considerably more traffic!

The last big event of our year was solo for James -- racing in the Wicked Whaleboat Challenge for the first time in a number of years. Usually James is busy serving coffee during the event. Last year participants got by on Dunkin' (the horror!) while we were in Chicago. This year, James brought decent coffee to the event and it was gratifying that so many racers from throughout New England had been anticipating the good coffee. The Shiverin' Timbers did very well in a race that we helped to design, placing 6th in a competitive field of 17 teams. 

As shown above, we celebrated our anniversary with a three-day stay at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. Accommodations and meals were simple -- a dorm room and a healthy buffet. It was good for body and soul, as we attended a few yoga and divination classes and walked the grounds. We were quiet and offline most of the time. Scandal alert: we did sneak some Malbec in to toast the occasion. And we'll probably do all of this again before long!

To end: the view from our room. It really was this lovely.

 

May 9, 2023 - visit to Chi-town

Popopa and Izta at the National Museum of Mexican Art in Chicago
Photo credit: Harvey Hayes

Year in Review
 

This matrimonial year began with our long-anticipated Vermont Inn Walking Tour. We had a medical emergency on the second day, but still managed to share a great adventure, to see some old friends, and to meet a couple new ones. We even had a close-up view of a beaver dam and lodge for the first time ever.

Right after the hike, we drove north to Burlington, to visit our good friend Korin in her family's new home there (new to them and to us, but a vintage house similar to what they left in Massachusetts, though decidedly more in-town). It was a lovely visit, and we stopped for an underwhelming exploration of the filming location of Beetlejuice on the way there.

We then celebrated Pam's birthday in Maryland, as has become our wont. May is full of celebrations for the Hayes-Bohs!

We each participated in the prestigious visit of Mandela Fellows to BSU. Pam gave a lecture on fake news, which the Fellows found very interesting and useful. James again set up EarthView and the Africa floor map. This time one of the Fellows came up with the perfect way to photograph the entire group on the map. Pam has been invited back for the July 2023 program.

In July James also led a week-long course on coffee for in-service social studies teachers with our friend Judy Otto at Framingham State University.

Also in July, an inattentive driver totaled our beloved Gretel (2008 Mercedes E350 wagon). James had minor back problems for a few months as a result. Our friends at Motorcars got us into Angela (as in Merkel), a 2013 E350 wagon -- much slicker, but we were happy with the old one and a bit bummed by the savagery of the insurance industry.

We got the new car just in time for a drive out to see Harvey in Chicago. Another knucklehead -- this one on a motorcycle eastbound in our westbound lane -- did his best to total Angela and himself. I am still not sure how we managed not to Darwin this fellow.

We enjoyed a visit, including some museums we had not seen before, and took both Harvey and Lia to visit family in Appleton, Wisconsin. We always love our times there, and this was no exception.

Just after that motorcycle near-miss, we had enjoyed a stay with our friends Ben and Emily in Muncie, where we admire these stalwart progressives in the land of eroding civil liberties. We also know we can count on them to show us the best pubs in town.

On the way back from Chicago, we visited Detroit for the first time ever (even though James teaches a class on the city every fall). We stayed less than 24 hours, but learned quite a lot!

From there we went to Poughkeepsie, where our friends Jeff and Yoyo introduced us to the amazing student dining hall (overlooking the Hudson) at the Culinary Institute of America. It was especially interesting for us, since a book about one of their more famous (and slightly deranged) students was among the many we read to each other recently.

Throughout the summer, James had the amazing opportunity to mentor a project through Sea Grant at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute. Carolyn King's project continued under different auspices at the academic year and was well regarded campus-wide. It is culminating in a story map that will be used at Cape Verde-related museums on Cape Cod and in Cape Verde.

We ended the summer with a blissful few days in Niantic, staying near the waterfront and near our friend Lisa's family house. We enjoyed the boardwalk, and amazing Mexican restaurant, and an even more amazing used book store. James has been daydreaming of this stay ever since.

A routine dental visit resulted in a referral to a dermatologist for James, and ultimately to three surgeries for basal cell carcinomas, including the very specialized Mohs surgery on his nose. This is the mildest form of cancer, but it had James -- and Harvey -- very much in his head for several months. Harvey flew home to drive James home from the surgery. Pam and Harvey took excellent care of James throughout, including his shaken mental state.

Part of spiritual preparation for the surgery was a day Harvey and James spent at Maribett Farm with our good friend Ron.

We had the wonderful treat of a visit from our friends Jeff and J.P., who had moved from Cincinnati to Denver not long ago. They were visiting several people in New England, and we were glad they started their vacation with us. They had dinner with us in Bridgewater and then stayed in Whaling House before continuing their tour. Years pass between our visits with these two, but we always find so much to talk about.

In October, we went to Veteran's Hall in Providence to see David Sedaris. It had been the site of James' last big-crowd outing before the plague (having seen Angelique Kidjo there on February 22, 2020), and it was the first return to a crowded venue for both of us. The caustic wit of David Sedaris was a perfect way finally to return from lockdown.

Because the One Book One Community read was about potatoes -- Stephen Puleo's Voyage of Mercy -- James was asked to give a talk on the tubers. Far from becoming the potato maven he had hoped for, he did manage to give a popular talk on potato geography for the community in October. James took another digression from his usual focus on coffee in public talks, by teaching a BSU Senior College course on the geography of migration early in the fall semester.

He then jetted (well, drove) to the 100th annual meeting of NESTVAL, this time being hosted at Salem State. He very much enjoyed a stay with our "Gang of Six" friends Judy Otto and Brian Cacchiotti. 

We spent Veteran's Day weekend in what might be a new annual tradition for us -- we walked across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. We had done this walk when it was a much rarer and informal event. This was highly organized and secured, and really a treat. We walked with our SIL Teresa, and stayed at Bob & Teresa's house near the eastern end of the bridge. 

Harvey visited again, this time for Thanksgiving -- a very welcome return to our traditional Thanksgiving with the Water-Rue. We were glad to have him back in the roost a month later, this time for Christmas. One reason he came back so soon was to meet our newest family member: Crumpet, named for the David Sedaris alter-ego in Santaland Diaries, and adopted after a bit of a hard start to life in Arkansas. Pam and James had spent a year not even able to talk about adopting a dog after the loss of Perry, but once we were ready, a new space opened in our hearts (all three of us) for this lovable goof.

January 1 was the beginning of Pam's much-needed and much-deserved sabbatical, beginning to official countdown to her retirement at the end of June 2024. She has spent the time recuperating from bad management, welcoming our new dog, and doing important research on media narratives around the January 6, 2021 insurrection/riot/tourism. 

While Pam and James both had some time off from school, Harvey returned to help with some household chores, as we took some preliminary steps toward downsizing.

In March, we had another delightful visit with friends near the sea, this time staying in the spare house of our friend Jody Kluver and visit her family in Westerly, Rhode Island. It was a very welcome and relaxing break. 

After spending a lot of time with her online throughout the pandemic, we were delighted to see the amazing Margaret Atwood in person at Sanders Theater at Harvard -- where we had first seen David Sedaris many years ago. Being in a room with her was electrifying. 

Next in this very busy year: James presented a paper at the AAG meeting in Denver and we both took full advantage of the opportunity to see some sights in and around the city and best of all to visit friends. We had some wonderful meals and stayed a couple days with the aforementioned Jeff and J.P. We also saw our friend Falu and had a brief mountain hike with our friend Camila and her beau. 

We both very much enjoyed a visit from Diane in April. 

James found ways to economize his involvement with end-of-semester academic work so that we could enjoy a 60th birthday road trip to Chicago, with a mini-roadtrip to northwestern Illinois and a day in Iowa. This was the best birthday James could have imagined; again, Pam and Harvey made him feel very loved.

The birthday trip also became our anniversary trip. Harvey took the photo above on our actual anniversary, and it began our new tradition. We begin each day with the greetings "Good morrow, My Lord!" and "Good morrow, My Lady!" because of a special anniversary gift Harvey got for us: a patch of land in Scotland! 

Other Highlights of the Year 

Early in the year, James was asked to give testimony at Town Council about the value of a tree committee -- not to join such a committee, but just to make the case. So yes, by the end of the year, James had been sworn in. It is both seriously good work and somewhat amusing, like a New England stereotype come to life.

Tragically,  in January we lost our dear friend Alfredo in Nicaragua. He was the only person who had been part of all 12 trips James had led in Nicaragua, and Pam had stayed with his family on three of those trips. He was the light and life of his little community La Corona. Joining his funeral via Facebook was devastating.

We welcomed a new family member as niece Kate and nephew Fraser had the lovely Laoghaire in February, whom we got to meet at the end of May.

May 9, 2022: Coral Anniversary

Our 35th anniversary is the first that we are marking with a digital remembrance. Our previous 34 anniversaries have been marked with a very analog ritual: we have put a photo taken on (or near) May 9 into a special album hidden within a frame that holds a now-famous photo from the wedding itself. We have then spent part of the day (or a day soon after) writing memories of the previous year onto index cards, each of which is tucked behind that year's photo. It is the closest thing we have to a journal of our lives together -- aside from coverage by actual journalists in the New York Times and Bridgewater Magazine. 

Celebrating on the eve of our anniversary with a selfie at the 
Immersive Frida Kahlo in Boston.

Year in Review, starting May 2021:

Harvey came to visit in Bridgewater in May, with an open-ended ticket. The three of us went to Maryland in June to visit other family members and cicadas. Careful readers will note that this was our second cicada anniversary, having been married during the swarm of the 17-year Brood X in 1987.

After Harvey returned to Chicago, our next highlight was an August trip to Vermont. We stayed at the Golden Stage Inn and made plans to join Vermont Inn Walking the following year!

Meanwhile, in July James gave a one-day professional-development workshop for teachers, entitled Sodade: Cape Verde is Migration, through the global education program at Framingham State University.

As our semi-pandemic life entered its third academic year, we decided to join the 21st century and migrate the Sacred Kitchen Calendar to an online version! It is still the case that the first one to stake out a date usually wins, but it is with phones and computers now, instead of pencils!

In October, information-literacy specialist Pam gave a presentation at the Bridgewater Senior Center entitled Don't Be Tricked! She offered expert guidance on scams and frauds.

Later in October, Pamela hosted a Zoom event in which Rev. Naomi Tutu made a virtual visit to our community. It was both a great honor and a poignant occasion, as she was with her father Rev. Desmond Tutu for what was to be his last birthday.

On November 3, both of us presented a virtual workshop on sustainability for a New England-wide academic audience through NERCOMP.

In November and December, Pam taught a course on Free Speech and Censorship for BSU Senior College. (Note: during this year we came to realize that we are now old enough to be participants in all of the programs we provide for area seniors.)

James taught three courses on coffee for senior citizens during this year -- virtually for BSU Senior College in the autumn and spring and in-person at the rather peculiar Linden Ponds compound for the aging wealthy in Hingham. The second BSU program included chocolate and tea, by popular demand!

Throughout the year, James continued to work with friends in Nicaragua and friends of those friends elsewhere, to support the amazing program Aqualí. It is a model of environmental education and youth professional development in the most challenging of circumstances.

On December 30-31, we traveled to Boston for a Van Gogh immersion experience. At the last minute, we learned that it was one of two competing exhibits, and that it was not the first one. It was a wonderful way to learn a lot about an artist we knew only vaguely. And mild weather made it a good time to explore Dorchester. We were happy to find dining and lodging options that were both enjoyable and very Covid-conscious. It was the first time we ever stayed in Boston overnight together.

On February 11, we went to see our friends Jim Quinn and Lisa Troy -- theater educators who are married to each other -- perform Love Letters at a community theater in Braintree. 

During the spring semester, James did his first formal online teaching collaboration through a program called COIL. The collaboration with architecture professors in Monterrey, Mexico and with Dr. Boah Kim here at BSU was a little complicated and awkward, but it was very rewarding. Students compared the quality of life across several specific dimensions in Monterrey and the Massachusetts communities of Dorchester, Lowell, and Brockton. 

In April, we joined James's brother Bob and his wife Teresa for breakfast at Vic's Waffle House in Lowell. They were in town for nephew Taylor's lacrosse game between UMBC (where Pam and James first met) and UMass-Lowell. 

Also in April, Pam hosted a virtual author talk by Lev Golinkin in connection with the One Book One Community reading of his book A Backpack, A Bear, and Eight Crates of Vodka.

As the year came to a close, we both enrolled in training to be parent facilitators for Boston PFLAG, whose Easton meeting we have been attending for several years.

We celebrated our anniversary on May 8 with a return to Boston -- just for the day this time -- for Immersive Frida. We will not be going to every art immersion program that comes to our area, but we are huge fans of Frida and found a lot to enjoy from the experience. It was Mother's Day, so we avoided the trendy places for brunch, and had a low-key experience in a classic diner just outside of Chinatown. 

Near the end of the spring semester, we collaborated with one of our favorite alumni to host the visit of an amazing group of five artists and advocates from Nicaragua. One member of the group was our friend Nohelia, who had served as a professional guide on some of our visits to Nicaragua. The group stayed at our house while attending the Specialty Coffee Association conference in Boston, where they promoted Origen.Photo.Projet -- which connects photography, coffee, and community development throughout Central America. 

Pam noticed that the theme gift for a 35th wedding anniversary is coral. Rather than give each other actual coral, we gave the gift of coral protection. That is, we made a donation in our own name to the Mesoamerican Reef Fund. Not only does the organization promote the protection of coral reefs, it also promotes sustainable community development in a part of the world that means a lot to us. As a bonus, its acronym MAR means "sea" in Spanish. Bonus points for being clever. 

Memoriam: During this year, the most notable losses were the death of our beloved miniature pinscher Perry -- who was mourned not only by our family but by many of our friends who had been her caretakers over the years -- and our good friend and tremendous human Frank Yeatman. We miss both terribly.